Trigger warning: sexual assault
A year ago, Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) self-advocate Harry Thompson disappeared from the digital space by turning off his website and disabling all of his social media channels following accusations as serious as rape and grooming. These accusations came from other self-advocates as they worked together to fight ableism and share education, awareness, and acceptance for those of us with PDA.
The buzz from social media claimed the allegations came from a “number of women”, a “chorus of experiences” but even as I was digging for these voices for my article last year to support them, I only found two that accused Harry Thompson of anything, and scores more coming to their defense, sharing unrelated experiences to demonstrate their empathy. I was skeptical because of this seemingly minor discrepancy, but as an autistic who was taught to forgo trusting their instincts due to ABA techniques applied to me in my youth, I dismissed them. I thought to myself, “maybe these vulnerable people are speaking out in a private place where I can’t find them.”
As a survivor of sexual abuse and living in this #MeToo era, people like me were primed to believe the rumors. It was convincing, striking empathy in those of us that have experienced similar tragedies. It triggered a raw chord in those of us who weren’t protected or believed in our time of need and pushed us to support the accusations without question.
Months after Harry disappeared, people continued to come into my comments section with questions. Questions I certainly did not have the answers to. On June 16, 2023, I wrote this in one of my responses, “It’s entirely subjective at this point because again, we don’t know the full story. Who you view as the aggressor and the victim is entirely dependent on your point of view, which is formed by the stories you choose to believe. I’m going to believe these victims. And if Harry chooses to tell his story too, I’ll believe them as well. It’s possible that both are true. The important part is that we don’t choose sides. We choose humanity, compassion, kindness, and justice. We let these people live their lives and we accept what they give us. If they decide to give us silence, we accept it. We aren’t here to fight their battles on their behalf. Presume competence and let them speak for themselves when they’re ready.”
With Harry’s return to the digital space, he’s ready to tell us his side of the story. I’ve had the honor of a private Zoom meeting with him last week to hear it and ask questions. One of my favorite sayings is once we know better, we do better (thanks Maya Angelou). I know better now, and I confidently believe that the allegations against Harry Jack Thompson are false.
With that said, I feel the topic is not as subjective as it once was. While you can continue to believe the rumors if you so choose, that does not make them true. Some of these claims were extreme and should not be taken lightly.
Since Harry is ready to speak for himself, you can join his Facebook group called Falsely Accused: Harry Thompson. They are holding two final group Zoom sessions, Friday 8 March at 2pm GMT and Tuesday the 12th at 10am GMT to which you can request access from within that group.
