Sometimes as an autistic person, I need incredibly direct and explicit guidelines to make sure I say on the right side when learning the difference between a mean joke and a funny prank. What most people can understand from context might go right over my head. If you’re like me, where you don’t always understand social cues but you also like to be a prankster for April Fool’s day, here are the rules I’ve come up with to ensure my pranks remain safe and fun for everyone.
Rule 1: if the prank takes more than 5 minutes to clean up, then it’s not a prank, it’s a mess.
Oftentimes kids with rigid thinking patterns don’t understand the difference between destroying an entire room in an effort to “prank” their parents vs Scout, the Elf on the Shelf, getting glitter or flour everywhere to “prank” them during the holidays. When an autistic kid sees this experience and mentally notes everyone laughing, especially with Scout not being held accountable for their actions, the resulting message your kid computes is that this is a funny thing to do, ergo, “if I want to make my parents laugh, I should destroy the room like Scout did.”
Set the boundary. Hold Scout accountable through the judicial branch in your home (because honestly, if Scout is getting into this much trouble in your house, I’m sure you’re also extra enough to go the extra mile with a Santa figurine acting as a presiding judge with an elf lawyer and a jury of other mythical creatures as Mr. Clean sues Scout).
This also goes for releasing balloons outside or throwing confetti at people. Unless you have a plan for cleaning it up, don’t do it. And if you do have a plan (I heard using a sock on a vacuum cleaner might work?), then that’s okay.
Rule 2: if the prank injures any person or animal, then it’s not a prank, it’s assault.
If you’re planning on dropping a bucket of water on someone’s head, think twice because heads are an important part to a living human and dropping a bucket on it could hurt it.
It’s also never funny to hurt an animal. The squirrels talk and they will plan their revenge.
Rule 3: if the prank damages anything permanently, then it’s not a prank, it’s vandalism.
Sometimes a prank can be funny where a Bride-to-be’s wedding dressed is ruined right before her wedding. Except it’s not. It’s devastating. Perhaps instead of actually ruining someone’s beloved belongings, use a decoy and pretend that got destroyed instead. But also, maybe don’t do it to someone who is already anxious. Read the next rule for why.
Rule 4: if the prank causes the target to have extreme anxiety, then it’s not a prank, it’s emotional abuse.
I don’t care who else thinks it’s funny or if the video is getting a lot of “likes,” it’s not a funny prank if the person you pranked is scared out of their wits or is hyperventilating. Pushing someone too far can have devastating effects on their mental health.
So you know your friend is arachnophobic and you put a fake spider on their bedside table for them to see when they wake up? You’re not their friend, you’re a bully weaponizing their fears against them.
So you’re well aware of your husband’s contamination OCD and you tell him you got raw chicken juices all over the kitchen moments after he walked through? If you knew he would freeze and then crumple into a pile of dread, unable to process the steps of how to clean his feet and the kitchen, then why did you think he’d laugh?
These aren’t pranks, they’re traumatizing.
Rule 5: if the prank targets someone’s age, disability, gender identity, sexual orientation, race, or religion, then it’s not a prank, it’s a hate crime.
Does your “joke” include spraying water on someone that has sensory sensitivities? Then don’t trigger them on purpose. While it’s adorable to observe my toddler dribble water on their shirt after taking a messy gulp from an open cup and then scream-cry because they hate the feeling of the wet shirt on skin (so we remove the shirt), it would be malicious to purposely spray them with water to intentionally cause a meltdown.
It’s the same reason we don’t throw pennies at the feet of our Jewish friends or AIDS flyers at gay people. If your Black friend asks for a favor and you reply with, “yes Massa,” that is so so SO inappropriate. It’s not funny, it’s harmful. Your friend might be nice and not confront you about it but they’ll file the moment away in their memories labeling you an unsafe person in their life. Do it too many times and you’ll act confused when they finally stop talking to you because they decided to focus on their own mental health.
Let’s not use people’s identities as the butt of any joke or prank.
Teaching young kids to prank
Now you don’t have to skip pranking, because it can be good fun. I love a good joke myself. If you have young kids or kids that don’t quite understand social cues due to autism or global developmental delays, have them team up with a trusted parent or adult to guide them in devising and executing their plans. One year, my neighbor and I switched our 1-year-old babies to trick our spouses. Another year, I used scheduled emails to ping my partner’s phone all day long with funny memes and rick-rolling links. Feel free to share your fun and safe pranks in the comments!
